Learn the fundamentals of business at the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows!
By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Mike Malbrough
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| Can you gentlemen please behave yourselves!
By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Michael Malbrough
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| Oh, goody! I've always wanted to sit in First Class!
By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Mike Malbrough
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| But Mary, there isn't anything in the lease that says I can't have a male stripper in the conference room. I brought my whole bachelorette party here! |
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| Just what we needed out here, more humans who want to commune with nature while they work. Why can't they just stay in their cities?! |
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| Hold him, Michelle. Mr. Miller has a balance of $7.60 in unpaid facsimile charges. He'll get him back when he settles his account. |
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I'm looking for an environment where a certain amount of screaming and shouting can be tolerated.
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| They are available for assassination, espionage, intimidation, and all of your other business needs. By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Mike Malbrough |
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What it be? What it is? What it do? Uhm, can I help you?
By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Michael Malbrough
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| You take cave for two hours for clan meeting. Me take golden hair. By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Michael Malbrough |
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| What do you mean, the virtual tenant from Jupiter left the conference room, "icky." By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Michael Malbrough |
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| I'm sorry, but you've been voted off the island.
By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Mike Malbrough
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| I pledge allegiance to the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows, of the United States of America... by Jack Blumner Illustrated by Mike Malbrough |
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What do you mean, the tenants think I'm emotionally aloof?!
By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Mike Malbrough
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| I'm not being stubborn, sir. It isn't possible for me to give you the cost per square foot of a virtual office. By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Mike Malbrough |
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| Mary wasn't lying when she said there was an interesting assortment of people at the Executive Office Center. I thought you guys were extinct! |
In anticipation of the legalization of medical marijuana in the State of New York, the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows is ready with an appertaining policy.
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| The kitchen is for all of our tenants, so be careful about leaving any of your brownies in the fridge. |
The Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows takes pride in the many ancillary services it provides:
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| Michelle's husband is a pastor, so if you're looking for a good time while you're in New York, she would be happy to take you to church on Sunday. By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Mike Malbrough |
Virtual office services take on a new meaning at the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows.
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| Could we interest you in a virtual boyfriend for the holidays, perhaps? Someone to bring home with you when you visit your family, so they don't torture you about the fact that you're still single. By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Mike Malbrough |
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| I'm not sure if you're ready for your big move, Frank. You still look a little jaundiced to me. By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Mike Malbrough |
Mary Abrams, Associate Director of the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows, has heard it all. Even so, this particular request took her by surprise.
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| Joe and I are newlyweds, as you know, Ms. Abrams, and we were wondering...well, I saw on your website that you offer customized furniture plans...you know, "your office, your way." Well...we were wondering if it wouldn't be too much to ask to have a bed installed in the office. By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Mike Malbrough |
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| No, we would be honored to have a cement business...(gulp)...at the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows. By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Mike Malbrough |
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| There was a merger. I was let go...cast off like a piece of unnecessary baggage. I've come here to start over again. Quick, this man needs a transfusion! By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Mike Malbrough |
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My name is Michelle. I assure you, sir, I am not a hologram.
By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Mike Malbrough
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| Aren't you a good dog, Brutus, for waiting so patiently for your master. Good dog, Brutus...good dog... |
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| I'm sure you noticed the on-hold Beatles music when you called. We also have episodes of Giligan's Island on the TV in the cafeteria, and a cardiac specialist on hand for coronary emergencies. |
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| I've already undergone a few other enhancements, so I understand the concept. |
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| The boys and I would like to start a collections agency. Maybe we could even help you, Mrs. Abrams. You got any tenants here who ain't payin' you their rent? By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Rebecca Church |
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| Mr. Kahn, perhaps a man of your ambition would like to consider our Executive Office Center "World Dominion" package. It gives you the ultimate opportunity to grow your business by being able to attack from virtually every major metropolitan center in the world. |
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| Hello Mr. Allen, this is Michelle at the Executive Office Center. I'm just calling to tell you that you have a package from - one second, let me have a look - oh... it's from the...Intimate Toy Store....uhm...okay...gotta go now. |