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| Hello Mr. Allen, this is Michelle at the Executive Office Center. I'm just calling to let you know that you have a package from - one second, let me have a look - oh... it's from the...Intimate Toy Store...uhm...okay...gotta go now. |
The only downside of being a virtual office tenant:
.jpg "Virtual Office Existential Issues (© Jack Blumner, Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows)") |
| So what if you're a virtual tenant. Of course I think of you as a real person. By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Mike Malbrough |
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| Welcome to the Executive Office Center, Mr. Jones. Let me introduce you to Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes. They are here to insure a premium level of service for our tenants. There is a bell pull in your office to summon them when needed. |
.jpg "Office Planners Predict the Demise of the Desk (© Jack Blumner, Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows)") |
| I have bad news for you and your ilk. |
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| No wonder - he has an office at the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows in Queens NY. By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Mike Malbrough |
Mary Abrams, Associate Director of the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows, has heard it all. Even so, this particular request took her by surprise.
.jpg "Virtual Office Services for Business Couples (© Jack Blumner, Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows)") |
| Joe and I are newlyweds, as you know, Ms. Abrams, and we were wondering...well, I saw on your website that you offer customized furniture plans...you know, "your office, your way." Well...we were wondering if it wouldn't be too much to ask to have a bed installed in the office. By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Mike Malbrough |
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| Michelle, Mr. Allen is going on an oil exploration mission to the Arctic. Could you please show him our igloo locations up there? Show him the ones with the ice block windows. By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Mike Malbrough |
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| I'm sure you noticed the on-hold Beatles music when you called. We also have episodes of Giligan's Island on the TV in the cafeteria, and a cardiac specialist on hand for coronary emergencies. |
.jpg "Cloud Virtual Office Services (© Jack Blumner, Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows)") |
| He says if we're going to use his facilities, it's only fair that he should be able to use ours. |
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| The boys and I would like to start a collections agency. Maybe we could even help you, Mrs. Abrams. You got any tenants here who ain't payin' you their rent? By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Rebecca Church |
.jpg "Virtual Office Relationship Management Services (© Jack Blumner, Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows)") |
| Mr. Chandler, your 13th wedding anniversary is coming up next Tuesday. I've made reservations for dinner for you and your wife at The Lion, and ordered two dozen long stemmed roses. There's a card, of course. Would you like to write something sweet, or would you like me to take care of that? By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Rebecca Church |
.jpg "Virtual Office Mail Notification Services (© Jack Blumner, Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows, Queens NY)") |
| Hello Mr. Allen, this is Michelle at the Executive Office Center. I'm just calling to tell you that you have a package from - one second, let me have a look - oh... it's from the...Intimate Toy Store....uhm...okay...gotta go now. |
.jpg "Geisha Girl Virtual Office Services (© Jack Blumner, Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows)") |
| Look, Michelle, we're in a very competitive marketplace. We need to offer something new - something different. There, that looks good. Now, all I'm asking you do to do is put your hair up in a bun, put a chopstick through it, and walk on somebody's back for twenty minutes. |
.jpg "Virtual Office Extra Care Services (© Jack Blumner, Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows)") |
| Sorry to hear you're under the weather today, mum. But don't worry, this chicken soup should give that cold a good fight. And there's a glass of orange juice and zinc tablets on the tray, as well. By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Rebecca Church |
.jpg "Virtual Office Services for Extra Terrestrials (© Jack Blumner, Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows)") |
| Foolish earthlings. Do they not realize how easy and economical their virtual office services network has made it for us to infiltrate their major population centers and take over the world! By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Rebecca Church |
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| Could we interest you in a virtual boyfriend for the holidays perhaps? Someone to bring home with you when you visit your family, so they don't torture you about the fact that you're still single? By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Rebecca Church |
.jpg "Virtual Office Image Consulting Services (© Jack Blumner, Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows)")
.jpg "Co-working Plus (© Jack Blumner, Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows)")
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