Virtual Office Services for Queens

We never dreamed, when the Executive Office Center opened for business  in 2010, that this would be cause for confusion.

I'm sorry to disappoint you. The Executive Office Center is not exclusively for transvestites. We mean the borough of Queens.

by Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Michael Malbrough

Virtual Office TGIF Services

At the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows, virtual office services are not just about work...

Michelle, I'd like to schedule the hot tub for 8:00 p.m. on Friday evening. If Shirley Eckman should be interested in using it at that hour, please tell her I wouldn't mind sharing it with her.

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Mike Malbrough

NY Virtual Office Services for Baby Boomers

My sixtieth birthday caught  me by surprise last month.  I looked into the mirror and said to the balding, gray haired man looking back at me, "Who are you?!"  One of my children gave me a birthday card that began, "Dear dad, too bad your old buddies, the pterodactyls and T-Rex's aren't around anymore."  Real nice. There's some consolation in the fact that many of our tenants at the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows are esteemed professionals in the same age range...

I'm sure you noticed the on-hold Beatles music when you called.  We also have episodes of Giligan's Island on the TV in the cafeteria, and a cardiac specialist on hand for coronary emergencies.

Virtual Office Professional Enhancement Services

The Executive Office Center  enhances the professional business image of all those who join us.  On top of that, we also invite our virtual office tenants to enhance their professional skills with free business seminars in the Executive conference room...

I've already undergone a few other enhancements, so I understand the concept.

Global Virtual Office Services

Mr. Kahn, perhaps a man of your ambition would like to consider our Executive Office Center "World Dominion" package. It gives you the ultimate opportunity to grow your business by being able to attack from virtually every major metropolitan center in the world.

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church

Virtual Office Emergency Care Services

We're going to have the internet back up in a few moments, Mr. Watson. Calm down. Breathe deeply.  Here, sit down, bend over and put your head between your knees.

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church

Geisha Girl Virtual Office Services

Look, Michelle, we're in a very competitive marketplace. We need to offer something new - something different. There, that looks good.  Now, all I'm asking you do to do is put your hair up in a bun, put a chopstick through it, and walk on somebody's back for twenty minutes.

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church

Virtual Office Extra Care Services

Sorry to hear you're under the weather today, mum.  But don't worry, this chicken soup should give that cold a good fight.  And there's a glass of orange juice and zinc tablets on the tray, as well.

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church

Virtual Office Services for Extraterrestrials

Foolish earthlings.  Do they not realize how easy and economical their virtual office services network has made it for us to infiltrate their major population centers and take over the world!

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church