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| Hello Mr. Allen, this is Michelle at the Executive Office Center. I'm just calling to let you know that you have a package from - one second, let me have a look - oh... it's from the...Intimate Toy Store...uhm...okay...gotta go now. |
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| Michelle, can you help Mr. Williams with the jet pack. He has to be in Manhattan by 3:00 p.m. and the Long Island Expressway is backed up from Junction Blvd. |
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| Hello Mr. Burns. I've got you on the red-eye to Los Angeles, leaving JFK at 11:55. There are stuffed animals at the front desk, if you'd care to take one for your daughter - and I've picked up a lovely necklace for your wife, because you've been away from home for a week, and she would have expected you to miss her greatly...though we know otherwise, don't we. By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Mike Malbrough |
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| You need something for six months in the Brazilian rain forest near Manaus? You're doing research in the jungle, I presume. Okay, the Executive Office Center has a couple of huts off the Amazon near Manaus with the Lackachi tribe. If you're shopping around, let me just warn you that Global Space has something not far from there, but there are Hummoca in that vicinity, and the Hummoca are cannibals. By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Mike Malbrough |
.jpg "Virtual Office Confessional Services (© Jack Blumner, Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows)") |
| And this may interest you. If you live a decadent and dissolute lifestyle like a lot of people I know, we have a priest who comes in twice weekly to take confession from our tenants. |
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| A virtual office would be perfect for us, Ms. Abrams. Let's just say we're in the olive oil business, and we'd like to expand our operations into New York. |
The only downside of being a virtual office tenant:
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| So what if you're a virtual tenant. Of course I think of you as a real person. By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Mike Malbrough |
The Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows loves working moms!
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| Abigail! What a nice surprise. I was hoping that your mother would bring you in today for a visit. Can you stay with me for a little while, while mommy goes up to her office to do some work? I could use some help here at the front desk. Is that okay with you, mommy? |
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| He wants to know if he can use the dish on the roof for his own communication needs. It doesn't fall into any of our basic packages, but we do offer to customize our virtual office telecommunication plans. |
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| I'm sorry to disappoint you. The Executive Office Center is not exclusively for transvestites. We mean the borough of Queens. by Jack Blumner Illustrated by Michael Malbrough |
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| No, Professor, I know that time and space are relative, but you can not get a discount because you feel that the time you spent in the office passed quickly. By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Mike Malbrough |
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| Mr. Kahn, perhaps a man of your ambition would like to consider our "World Dominion" package. It gives you the ultimate opportunity to grow your business by being able to attack from virtually every major metropolitan center in the world. By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Mike Malbrough |
.jpg "Office Planners Predict the Demise of the Desk (© Jack Blumner, Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows)") |
| I have bad news for you and your ilk. |
.jpg "Abandoned Mall Becomes Co-working Center (© by Jack Blumner, Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows)") |
| You can take the zip line to the food court from over here, but I wouldn't suggest it unless you're wearing pants. By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Mike Malbrough |
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Yes, Mary, this is just what I'm looking for!
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Beings from outside the borough seeking market penetration in Queens NY will find the best platform for virtual office services at the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows, conveniently located just off exit 25 of the Long Island Expressway.
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| We would like to establish a field office at the Executive Office Center to explore the possibility of establishing a trade relationship between our worlds. Okay - but only if you promise me this is not just a pretext for trying to take over our planet. By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Mike Malbrough |
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| Okay, Clarice, you look terrific. Now, when you walk into the room, you're going to walk into the room! Don't forget, you're not just anybody. You're Clarice Schulman! By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Mike Malbrough |
.jpg "Hedonism Virtual Office Services (© Jack Blumner, Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows)") |
| If you're interested in a co-venture, our hot tub is a great place to meet someone to get a collaboration going. By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Mike Malbrough |
.jpg "Virtual Office On Demand Meeting Space (© Jack Blumner, Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows)")
.jpg "Live Free Virtual Office Solutions (© Jack Blumner, Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows)")