Saturday, April 19, 2014

Monday, April 14, 2014

Virtual Office Services for Stay-At-Home Moms


The Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows:  Give us your tired, your poor bedraggled housebound moms yearning to breathe free.
I just need to dress up in business clothes and get away from the kids for a couple of hours every week.

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Michael Malbrough

Monday, April 7, 2014

Virtual Office Matchmaking Services

Managing a virtual office center is not just about managing space - not according to Mary Abrams, Associate Director of the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows.

We have over 500 virtual tenants - a lot of them, single professionals - and many, I must say, are very cute. Check out the hunk over at the front desk, for example. That's Ethan Cohen. He's an attorney who just signed on with us. I'll bet he would love to meet you.

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Michael Malbrough


Monday, March 31, 2014

Co-working Space - Dealing with Disruptors


Co-working services at the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows are strictly regulated to insure the rights of all to non-disruptive work.  
I'm sorry, but you've been voted off the island.


By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Mike Malbrough

Monday, March 24, 2014

Virtual Office Services for Queens

We never dreamed, when the Executive Office Center opened  in 2010, that this would be cause for confusion.

Disappointed transvestites realize that virtual office services for Queens refers to the borough of Queens.
I'm sorry to disappoint you. The Executive Office Center is not exclusively for transvestites. We mean the borough of Queens.

by Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Michael Malbrough


Monday, March 10, 2014

Monday, March 3, 2014

Virtual Office Cost Per Square Foot


Virtual office services are a lot like Dr. Pepper -- so misunderstood.


I'm not being stubborn, sir. It isn't possible for me to give you the cost per square foot of a virtual office.

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Mike Malbrough

Monday, February 24, 2014

Virtual Office Services for All Types


The beautiful thing about the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows is the incredible diversity of businesses professionals it serves.
Generation Y meets Boomers at the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows
Mary wasn't lying when she said there was an interesting assortment of people at the Executive Office Center. I thought you guys were extinct. 

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Mike Malbrough



Monday, February 17, 2014

Virtual Office TGIF Services

At the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows, virtual office services are not just about work...


Tenant makes reservations for the hot tub at the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows
Michelle, I'd like to schedule the hot tub for 8:00 p.m. on Friday evening. If Shirley Eckman should be interested in using it at that hour, please tell her I wouldn't mind sharing it with her.

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Mike Malbrough

Monday, February 10, 2014

Valentine's Day Virtual Office Services



The cost is $2.99, if you'd like to send someone  a virtual kiss, $29.99, if you'd like to send someone a real one. No, I will not be the one giving the kiss...maybe Michelle.

by Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Mike Malbrough

Monday, February 3, 2014

Virtual Office Services & Medical Marijuana

In anticipation of the legalization of medical marijuana in the State of New York, the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows is ready with an appertaining policy.

Executive Office Center Associate Director Mary Abrams explains policy regarding the use of medical marijuana
The kitchen is for all of our tenants, so be careful about leaving any of your brownies in the fridge.

by Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Mike Malbrough


Monday, January 20, 2014

Virtual Office Services for Start Ups

The Executive Office Center of Fresh Meadows is a great place to start a new business, especially with the value and convenience of our virtual office services
A virtual office tenant at the Executive Office Center of Fresh Meadow seeks advice from a psychic adviser.
Your start up company is going to grow. I see it getting bigger and bigger. Wait, I see something else...a woman. Oh, it's your dearly departed wife, Sylvia. She says...you were never a success, and you never will be...I'm sorry. Don't pay any attention to her.

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Mike Malbrough

Monday, January 6, 2014

Virtual Office Personal Escort Services


The Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows takes pride in the many ancillary services it provides:

Executive Office Center director Mary Abrams talks to a new tenant about the business center's personal escort services.
Michelle's husband is a pastor, so if you're looking for a good time while you're in New York, she would be happy to take you to church on Sunday.

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Mike Malbrough


Monday, December 16, 2013

Virtual Office Services for the Holidays



Could we interest you in a virtual boyfriend for the holidays, perhaps? Someone to bring home with you when you visit your family, so they don't torture you about the fact that you're still single.

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Mike Malbrough

Monday, December 9, 2013

Queens NY Business Incubator

We're always sorry to say goodbye to our hatchlings when they are ready to leave the  Executive Office Center.  We worry about them, too.
Frank is ready to leave the Executive Office Center Business Incubator, but he looks a little jaundiced to Mary.
I'm not sure if you're ready for your big move, Frank. You still look a little jaundiced to me.

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Mike Malbrough




Monday, December 2, 2013

Serviced Office Space with Customized Furniture Plans

Mary Abrams, Associate Director of the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows, has heard it all.  Even so, this particular request took her by surprise.  


Joe and I are newlyweds, as you know, Ms. Abrams, and we were wondering...well, I saw on your website that you offer customized furniture plans...you know, "your office, your way."  Well...we were wondering if it wouldn't be too much to ask to have a bed installed in the office.

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Mike Malbrough




Monday, November 18, 2013

Virtual Office Services for Start-ups


There are over 50 start up companies at the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows in Queens, New York. Virtual office services are perfect for innovative new technology start ups. They are also a wonderful way for mature organizations to branch into new markets or new areas of business.
Vito and his goons apply for virtual office services at the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows - but he's confused about the "Identity Plus" concept.
No, we would be honored to have a cement business...(gulp)...at the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows.  

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Mike Malbrough

Monday, November 11, 2013

Intensive Care Virtual Office Services

People become virtual office tenants at the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows for all sorts of reasons. Some are just starting out in business and want to minimize their overhead expenses.  Some seek the value and convenience of a serviced office environment, while others are victims of corporate downsizing like the gentleman below...

Executive Office Center Director, Mary Abrams, greets a new virtual office tenant - a corporate castoff arriving on a gurney.
There was a merger. I was let go...cast off like a piece of unnecessary baggage. I've come here to start over again.

Quick, this man needs a transfusion!


By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Mike Malbrough


Monday, November 4, 2013

Global Reach Virtual Office Locations

Through our alliances in the industry, the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows, makes work space available to our tenants, wherever and whenever they need to go...



Executive Office Center Director Mary Abrams offers an Arctic traveler virtual office space at our igloo locations.
Michelle, Mr. Allen is going on an oil exploration mission to the Arctic. Could you please show him our igloo  locations up there? Show him the ones with the ice block windows. 

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Mike Malbrough




Monday, October 28, 2013

Serviced Office Space with Live Virtual Receptionist

I found it amusing to read recently that a hologram had replaced a human receptionist at the front desk of a London town hall.   I can not imagine a hologram dealing with some of the issues that arise at the Executive Office Center's very busy reception desk...
A prospective tenant examines the receptionist of the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows to see if she is a hologram.
My name is Michelle.  I assure you, sir, I am not a hologram.

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Mike Malbrough

Monday, October 21, 2013

Virtual Office Pet Sitting Services

We're all pet lovers at the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows. I used to bring my Golden Retriever to the office with me every day, my old buddy, Mooks. It's great when someone shows up in the lobby with a little pooch. We try to accommodate our tenants and their clients in every way possible, but the situation below stretched the limits of our tolerance...
Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows Director Mary Abrams watches a pet for one of the Executive Center's tenants.
Aren't you a good dog, Brutus, for waiting so patiently for your master. Good dog, Brutus...good dog...





Monday, October 14, 2013

NY Virtual Office Services for Baby Boomers

My sixtieth birthday caught  me by surprise last month.  I looked into the mirror and said to the balding, gray haired man looking back at me, "Who are you?!"  One of my children gave me a birthday card that began, "Dear dad, too bad your old buddies, the pterodactyls and T-Rex's aren't around anymore."  Real nice. There's some consolation in the fact that many of our tenants at the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows are esteemed professionals in the same age range...

A baby boomer tours the Executive Office Center with Associate Director, Mary Abrams,
I'm sure you noticed the on-hold Beatles music when you called.  We also have episodes of Giligan's Island on the TV in the cafeteria, and a cardiac specialist on hand for coronary emergencies.

Monday, October 7, 2013

Jewish Mother Virtual Office Services

Mary Abrams, Associate Director of the Executive Office Center of Fresh Meadows and her assistant, Michelle, truly watch out for the best interest of our tenants.  It's mid-October and it's starting to get chilly here in New York...



Executive Office Center demands that tenant dress appropriately for the weather
Mr. Cheung, you're not leaving the office like that! Get back here this instant and put on a sweater!

Monday, September 30, 2013

Virtual Office Professional Enhancement Services

The Executive Office Center  enhances the professional business image of all those who join us.  On top of that, we also invite our virtual office tenants to enhance their professional skills with free business seminars in the Executive conference room...


A tenant seeks "professional enhancement services" at the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows
I've already undergone a few other enhancements, so I understand the concept.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Monday, August 12, 2013

Over the Top Virtual Office Services

Businesses get ahead with virtual office services at the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows
Michelle, can you help Mr. Williams with the jet pack. He has to be in Manhattan by 3:00 p.m., and the Long Island Expressway is backed up from Junction Blvd.

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church

Monday, August 5, 2013

Virtual Office Services for Start Ups

Virtual office services at the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows are perfect for start ups
The boys and I would like to start a collections agency. Maybe we could even help you, Mrs. Abrams. You got any tenants here who ain't payin' you their rent?



By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church

Monday, July 29, 2013

Virtual Office Relationship Management Services




A unique virtual office services program - relationship management services - only at the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows
Mr. Chandler, your 13th wedding anniversary is coming up next Tuesday. I've made reservations for dinner for you and your wife at The Lion, and ordered two dozen long stemmed roses.  There's a card, of course.  Would you like to write something sweet, or would you like me to take care of that?   

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church

Monday, July 22, 2013

Coworking for Christian Singles



Queens co-working space at the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows, Queens NY
Is that his toe touching my shoe?  Please, Jesus, let that be his toe touching my shoe.

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church

Monday, July 15, 2013

Global Virtual Office Services


Mr. Kahn, perhaps a man of your ambition would like to consider our Executive Office Center "World Dominion" package. It gives you the ultimate opportunity to grow your business by being able to attack from virtually every major metropolitan center in the world.




By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church

Monday, July 8, 2013

Remote Outpost Virtual Office Services

Virtual Office Services, locations around the globe
You need something for six months in the Brazilian rain forest near Manaus? You're doing research in the jungle, I presume. Okay, the Executive Office Center has a couple of huts off the Amazon near Manaus with the Lackachi tribe. If you're shopping around, let me just warn you that Egregious has something not far from there, but there are Hummoca in that vicinity, and the Hummoca are cannibals.

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church

Monday, July 1, 2013

Virtual Office Services for Accountants



Special perks and benefits for accountants at the Executive Office Center in Fresh Meadows Queens NY
You may find this bed convenient during tax season, Mr. Harrelson. Just don't me let me find anyone else in here with you.

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church



Monday, June 10, 2013

Virtual Office Mail Notification Services

Virtual office mail notification services, offered by the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows, Queens, NY
Hello Mr. Allen, this is Michelle at the Executive Office Center. I'm just calling to tell you that you have a package from - one second, let me have a look - oh... it's from the...Intimate Toy Store....uhm...okay...gotta go now.  

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church

Monday, June 3, 2013

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Virtual Office Emergency Care Services



We're going to have the internet back up in a few moments, Mr. Watson. Calm down. Breathe deeply.  Here, sit down, bend over and put your head between your knees.
By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church


Monday, May 20, 2013

Virtual Office Package Receipt Services



Virtual Office mail and package receipt services offered by the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows, Queens NY
The drop off - er, that is, package delivery - will take place tomorrow afternoon. If everything goes well, you'll be getting a very substantial bonus, Ms. Abrams. You're running a wonderful operation here.  Isn't that right, boys?  

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church



Monday, May 13, 2013

Geisha Girl Virtual Office Services

Look, Michelle, we're in a very competitive marketplace. We need to offer something new - something different. There, that looks good.  Now, all I'm asking you do to do is put your hair up in a bun, put a chopstick through it, and walk on somebody's back for twenty minutes.



By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church

Monday, May 6, 2013

Virtual Office Extra Care Services


Sorry to hear you're under the weather today, mum.  But don't worry, this chicken soup should give that cold a good fight.  And there's a glass of orange juice and zinc tablets on the tray, as well.

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church


Monday, April 29, 2013

Virtual Office Services for Extraterrestrials


The elaborate network of virtual office services around the world have made the planet ripe for an alien takeover, according to Jack Blumner, Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows
Foolish earthlings.  Do they not realize how easy and economical their virtual office services network has made it for us to infiltrate their major population centers and take over the world!

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church




Monday, April 22, 2013

Virtual Office Beck and Call Services




When you sign up for virtual office services at the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows, support services are at your beck and call.
Welcome to the Executive Office Center, Mr. Jones.  Let me introduce you to Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes. They are here to insure a premium level of service for our tenants. There is a bell pull in your office to summon them when needed.

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church




Welcome to the Executive Office Center, Mr. Harrison.  Let me introduce you to Mr.Carson and Mrs. Hughes.   They are here to insure a premium level of service for our tenants.  There is a bell pull in your office to summon them when needed.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Virtual Office Social Media Services


As you know, every week the Executive Office Center invite a new speaker to the office to help you with various aspects of your businesses.  Today I am pleased to have with us the messiah of social media marketing world...

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church


Monday, April 8, 2013

Virtual Office Business Mentoring Services


Queens virtual office business mentoring services - a premium level of services for small companies and start ups, offered by the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows
So, what you gotta do is - first, you spend a couple of years doing petty theft.  Just to get your feet wet.  Small stuff,  just to see if you have the stomach for it.  Then, you got lots of options, drugs, racketeering, protection.  Being a hit man pays good money, too.

Oh my God!  Vito, why are are you talking to this man?  He was supposed to talk to Alan Kramer.  He is starting a new web design business.

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church



Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Virtual Office Concierge Services


Virtual office concierge services, a premium level of virtual office services offered by the Executive Office Center of Fresh Meadows, Queens NY)
Hello Mr. Burns,  I've got you on the red-eye to Los Angeles, leaving JFK at 11:55.  There are stuffed animals at the front desk, if you'd care to take one for your daughter - and I've picked up a lovely necklace for your wife, because you've been away from home for a week, and she would have expected you to miss her greatly... though we know otherwise, don't we.

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church

Monday, March 25, 2013

Virtual Office Wardrobe Consulting Services

Virtual office wardrobe consulting services, offered by the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows, Queens NY
I'm very sorry, Mr. Chiu, but I can not allow you to go to a business meeting in that suit. You're a size 40, right. Here, take this and see if it fits.

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church