Virtual Office Services for the Holidays

Virtual office services take on a new meaning at the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows.

Could we interest you in a virtual boyfriend for the holidays, perhaps? Someone to bring home with you when you visit your family, so they don't torture you about the fact that you're still single.

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Mike Malbrough

Queens NY Business Incubator

We're always sorry to say goodbye to our hatchlings when they are ready to leave the  Executive Office Center.  We worry about them, too.

I'm not sure if you're ready for your big move, Frank. You still look a little jaundiced to me.

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Mike Malbrough

Serviced Office Space with Customized Furniture Plans

Mary Abrams, Associate Director of the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows, has heard it all.  Even so, this particular request took her by surprise.  

Joe and I are newlyweds, as you know, Ms. Abrams, and we were wondering...well, I saw on your website that you offer customized furniture plans...you know, "your office, your way."  Well...we were wondering if it wouldn't be too much to ask to have a bed installed in the office.

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Mike Malbrough

Virtual Office Services for Start-ups

There are over 50 start up companies at the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows in Queens, New York. Virtual office services are perfect for innovative new technology start ups. They are also a wonderful way for mature organizations to branch into new markets or new areas of business.

No, we would be honored to have a cement business...(gulp)...at the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows.  

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Mike Malbrough

Intensive Care Virtual Office Services

People become virtual office tenants at the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows for all sorts of reasons. Some are just starting out in business and want to minimize their overhead expenses.  Some seek the value and convenience of a serviced office environment, while others are victims of corporate downsizing like the gentleman below...

There was a merger. I was let go...cast off like a piece of unnecessary baggage. I've come here to start over again.

Quick, this man needs a transfusion!

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Mike Malbrough

Global Reach Virtual Office Locations

Through our alliances in the industry, the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows, makes work space available to our tenants, wherever and whenever they need to go...

Michelle, Mr. Allen is going on an oil exploration mission to the Arctic. Could you please show him our igloo  locations up there? Show him the ones with the ice block windows. 

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Mike Malbrough

Serviced Office Space with Live Virtual Receptionist

I found it amusing to read recently that a hologram had replaced a human receptionist at the front desk of a London town hall.   I can not imagine a hologram dealing with some of the issues that arise at the Executive Office Center's very busy reception desk...

My name is Michelle.  I assure you, sir, I am not a hologram.

By Jack Blumner

Illustrated by Mike Malbrough

Virtual Office Pet Sitting Services

We're all pet lovers at the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows. I used to bring my Golden Retriever to the office with me every day, my old buddy, Mooks. It's great when someone shows up in the lobby with a little pooch. We try to accommodate our tenants and their clients in every way possible, but the situation below stretched the limits of our tolerance...

Aren't you a good dog, Brutus, for waiting so patiently for your master. Good dog, Brutus...good dog...

NY Virtual Office Services for Baby Boomers

My sixtieth birthday caught  me by surprise last month.  I looked into the mirror and said to the balding, gray haired man looking back at me, "Who are you?!"  One of my children gave me a birthday card that began, "Dear dad, too bad your old buddies, the pterodactyls and T-Rex's aren't around anymore."  Real nice. There's some consolation in the fact that many of our tenants at the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows are esteemed professionals in the same age range...

I'm sure you noticed the on-hold Beatles music when you called.  We also have episodes of Giligan's Island on the TV in the cafeteria, and a cardiac specialist on hand for coronary emergencies.

Jewish Mother Virtual Office Services

Mary Abrams, Associate Director of the Executive Office Center of Fresh Meadows and her assistant, Michelle, truly watch out for the best interest of our tenants.  It's mid-October and it's starting to get chilly here in New York...

Mr. Cheung, you're not leaving the office like that! Get back here this instant and put on a sweater!

Virtual Office Professional Enhancement Services

The Executive Office Center  enhances the professional business image of all those who join us.  On top of that, we also invite our virtual office tenants to enhance their professional skills with free business seminars in the Executive conference room...

I've already undergone a few other enhancements, so I understand the concept.

Virtual Office Image Consulting Services

Oh, yeah! Own that ponytail, Ms. Jenkins. Work that updo!

Cloud Virtual Office Services

He says if we're going to use his facilities, it's only fair that he should be able to use ours.

Co-working Plus!

I'm looking for an environment in which I can mix, mingle, brainstorm, collaborate and socialize, and possibly have a hot torrid affair.

Virtual Office Services for Start Ups

The boys and I would like to start a collections agency. Maybe we could even help you, Mrs. Abrams. You got any tenants here who ain't payin' you their rent?



By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church

Virtual Office Relationship Management Services



Mr. Chandler, your 13th wedding anniversary is coming up next Tuesday. I've made reservations for dinner for you and your wife at The Lion, and ordered two dozen long stemmed roses.  There's a card, of course.  Would you like to write something sweet, or would you like me to take care of that?   

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church

Global Virtual Office Services

Mr. Kahn, perhaps a man of your ambition would like to consider our Executive Office Center "World Dominion" package. It gives you the ultimate opportunity to grow your business by being able to attack from virtually every major metropolitan center in the world.

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church

Virtual Office Services for Accountants



You may find this bed convenient during tax season, Mr. Harrelson. Just don't me let me find anyone else in here with you.

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church

Virtual Office Personalized Telephone Answering

Out of da Hood Financing?! That's how you want us to answer the phones for you?!

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church

Virtual Office Mail Notification Services

Hello Mr. Allen, this is Michelle at the Executive Office Center. I'm just calling to tell you that you have a package from - one second, let me have a look - oh... it's from the...Intimate Toy Store....uhm...okay...gotta go now.  

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church

Virtual Office Emergency Care Services

We're going to have the internet back up in a few moments, Mr. Watson. Calm down. Breathe deeply.  Here, sit down, bend over and put your head between your knees.

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church

Virtual Office Package Receipt Services

The drop off - er, that is, package delivery - will take place tomorrow afternoon. If everything goes well, you'll be getting a very substantial bonus, Ms. Abrams. You're running a wonderful operation here.  Isn't that right, boys?  

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church

Geisha Girl Virtual Office Services

Look, Michelle, we're in a very competitive marketplace. We need to offer something new - something different. There, that looks good.  Now, all I'm asking you do to do is put your hair up in a bun, put a chopstick through it, and walk on somebody's back for twenty minutes.

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church

Virtual Office Extra Care Services

Sorry to hear you're under the weather today, mum.  But don't worry, this chicken soup should give that cold a good fight.  And there's a glass of orange juice and zinc tablets on the tray, as well.

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church

Virtual Office Services for Extraterrestrials

Foolish earthlings.  Do they not realize how easy and economical their virtual office services network has made it for us to infiltrate their major population centers and take over the world!

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church

Virtual Office Social Media Services

As you know, every week the Executive Office Center invite a new speaker to the office to help you with various aspects of your businesses.  Today I am pleased to have with us the messiah of social media marketing world...

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church

Virtual Office Wardrobe Consulting Services

I'm very sorry, Mr. Chiu, but I can not allow you to go to a business meeting in that suit. You're a size 40, right. Here, take this and see if it fits.

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church

Virtual Office Reach Me Now Services

Rex, we have an urgent message for Mr. Biggs, and we can't reach him on his cell phone or by email. Find him, Rex. Find Mr. Biggs, now!

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church

Virtual Office Courier Services

The package smells because it contains a fish that has been wrapped in someone's clothes. Don't worry, Ms. Abrams. The person who receives it  will understand what it means.

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church

Above and Beyond Virtual Office Services

Hello Mr. Jones, the FBI was here looking for you today. I told them I didn't know your whereabouts.

That'll be an extra $59 charge on your invoice this month.

by Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church

High Holiday Virtual Office Services

This may interest you as well, Mr. Jacobs.  For a one time fee of $189, we will send someone to synagogue for you on Yom Kippur to attone for your sins. It'll be an extra $100 if you want that person to fast.

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church

Virtual Office Confessional Services

Queens virtual office services to meet the needs of today's decadent lifestyle.

And this may interest you. If you live a decadent and dissolute lifestyle, like a lot of people I know, we have a priest who comes in twice weekly to take confession from our tenants.

By Jack Blumner
Illustrated by Rebecca Church

Virtual Office Services and Multinational Companies

Congratulations Mr. Smith.  Now, with your office in London and your $79/month virtual office in New York, you are officially a multinational company!

By Jack Blumner,
Illustrated by Rebecca Church