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| Hello Mr. Allen, this is Michelle at the Executive Office Center. I'm just calling to let you know that you have a package from - one second, let me have a look - oh... it's from the...Intimate Toy Store...uhm...okay...gotta go now. |
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| Michelle, can you help Mr. Williams with the jet pack. He has to be in Manhattan by 3:00 p.m. and the Long Island Expressway is backed up from Junction Blvd. |
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| Hello Mr. Burns. I've got you on the red-eye to Los Angeles, leaving JFK at 11:55. There are stuffed animals at the front desk, if you'd care to take one for your daughter - and I've picked up a lovely necklace for your wife, because you've been away from home for a week, and she would have expected you to miss her greatly...though we know otherwise, don't we. By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Mike Malbrough |
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| You need something for six months in the Brazilian rain forest near Manaus? You're doing research in the jungle, I presume. Okay, the Executive Office Center has a couple of huts off the Amazon near Manaus with the Lackachi tribe. If you're shopping around, let me just warn you that Global Space has something not far from there, but there are Hummoca in that vicinity, and the Hummoca are cannibals. By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Mike Malbrough |
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| Rex, we have an urgent message for Mr. Biggs, and we can't reach him on his cell phone or by email. Find him, Rex. Find Mr. Biggs now! |
.jpg "Virtual Office Confessional Services (© Jack Blumner, Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows)") |
| And this may interest you. If you live a decadent and dissolute lifestyle like a lot of people I know, we have a priest who comes in twice weekly to take confession from our tenants. |
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| A virtual office would be perfect for us, Ms. Abrams. Let's just say we're in the olive oil business, and we'd like to expand our operations into New York. |
The only downside of being a virtual office tenant:
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| So what if you're a virtual tenant. Of course I think of you as a real person. By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Mike Malbrough |
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| Please indicate your SAT scores on the application forms. |
The Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows loves working moms!
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| Abigail! What a nice surprise. I was hoping that your mother would bring you in today for a visit. Can you stay with me for a little while, while mommy goes up to her office to do some work? I could use some help here at the front desk. Is that okay with you, mommy? |
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| But I don't want to make cold sales calls! |
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| Welcome to the Executive Office Center, Mr. Jones. Let me introduce you to Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes. They are here to insure a premium level of service for our tenants. There is a bell pull in your office to summon them when needed. |
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| He wants to know if he can use the dish on the roof for his own communication needs. It doesn't fall into any of our basic packages, but we do offer to customize our virtual office telecommunication plans. |
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| No, Professor, I know that time and space are relative, but you can not get a discount because you feel that the time you spent in the office passed quickly. By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Mike Malbrough |
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| Mr. Kahn, perhaps a man of your ambition would like to consider our "World Dominion" package. It gives you the ultimate opportunity to grow your business by being able to attack from virtually every major metropolitan center in the world. By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Mike Malbrough |
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Maybe you shouldn't come to work in heels anymore.
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Beings from outside the borough seeking market penetration in Queens NY will find the best platform for virtual office services at the Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows, conveniently located just off exit 25 of the Long Island Expressway.
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| We would like to establish a field office at the Executive Office Center to explore the possibility of establishing a trade relationship between our worlds. Okay - but only if you promise me this is not just a pretext for trying to take over our planet. By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Mike Malbrough |
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| Sorry to hear you're under the weather today, mum. But don't worry, this chicken soup should give that cold a good fight. And there's a glass of orange juice and zinc tablets on the tray, as well. By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Rebecca Church |
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| Foolish earthlings. Do they not realize how easy and economical their virtual office services network has made it for us to infiltrate their major population centers and take over the world! By Jack Blumner Illustrated by Rebecca Church |
.jpg "Virtual Office On Demand Meeting Space (© Jack Blumner, Executive Office Center at Fresh Meadows)")